How to make your search for a partner online easier, quicker and more effective !
Make a mental or shopping list of your Russian or Eastern European partner
Online dating is very different to meeting someone at a party, beginning a relationship with a colleague, or being introduced to a woman at a ground based marriage or introduction agency. When you meet this way there may be a sparkle of attraction, a subconscious reaction to subtle actions or maybe even the effect of strong pheromones at work, and this is your starting point. But online you need to be pro-active or just sit and wait, which isn’t the best way for a man to find a partner online.
First of all, you may need to adjust your way of thinking, put pen to paper away from the distractions of the beautiful young women that adorn the pages of virtually every free ( or paid ) dating site, and write a shopping list entirely at random, of the qualities in a partner or a relationship that are important to you. These can be physical attributes, favourite hobbies, food preferences and so on, the list could well be quite lengthy. If you’re not sure how to phrase your requirements turn to an online thesaurus for suitable synonyms.
Then group these qualities into suitable categories, for example – a category entitled emotions may include stable, sensitive, romantic, caring, etc.. and a category entitled education may include well-educated, degrees, intelligent, high education and education not important.
Then go through the categories one at a time and mark them on a scale of one to ten, with one being the most important quality. Keep going until all the qualities have a mark. Take the qualities with the highest 3 marks from each category and these are the keyword terms for your online dating search.
If you are willing to compromise quite considerably then take 4 or 5 qualities and put them into your search. You now have a shopping list ( or criteria ) for your Russian or Eastern European partner.
Try to understand how the search functions on dating sites work
The search function on an online dating website is crucial in narrowing down your search and it is important to understand that they are only database tables that store information submitted by a new registration and retrieves it when requested. A database is only as good as the information stored within. Most larger dating websites have a “quick search” and an “advanced search” facility. A quick search is suitable if your criteria is very vague, “women with photos only” for example, you will still have to browse through several hundred or in the case of the larger international dating agencies, several thousand profiles. This is not time efficient and it is doubtful whether you will find what you’re looking for very quickly.
The “advanced search” facility becomes more useful, now you can enter all the criteria on your shopping list and this should considerably reduce the amount of dating profiles that you are shown. However, the search only finds the information that has been entered by the users, if a registration form has a format detailing how important a quality is to the user and there is only one option, then you could find that a very strict criteria on your part could eliminate some profiles from your search entirely. If your search results are negative, gradually relax your criteria until you gain profiles in the search results.
Profiles without photographs
Maximise your replies with good photo’s !
Many large international online dating websites refuse to accept profiles without photographs and there are good reasons why this has become an operational policy that is proving to be very popular with the online dating community.
There are arguments for and against not submitting photographs with your profile. On the one hand people may be afraid of being recognised ( even in the 21st century there is an unpleasant stigma attached to internet dating that refuses to go away ), some people are painfully shy with low self esteem and believe that they are not photogenic in the slightest. Also, sadly some people may be married and don’t want to be recognised for a very good reason. Finally, a great deal of suspicion surrounds a person that is looking for a partner but refuses to show themselves, and rightly or wrongly may be considered scammers before they’ve been given the chance to prove otherwise. This “write to me and I’ll send you photos” attitude may have worked several years ago but nowadays people are far more internet savvy and know that it’s very easy to upload a photograph to a profile, and that there are not many really genuine reasons for not doing so.
On the other hand, the internet is a visual experience, dating is unavoidably linked to physical attraction and most genuine internet dating site subscribers want to see photographs. The move by large organisations to refuse profile submissions without photos is a reflection of this desire. We must make a particular reference to Russian and Eastern European women regarding photographs. It is not difficult in Russia for example to get photographs of a fairly basic resolution ( 72 dots per inch is suitable for the internet ) made cheaply, nowadays with mobile phone cameras, scanners, photo booths etc.. there really is very little problem and therefore not really much excuse for not uploading photos.
Compare the photo selections of Western men and Eastern European women and you’ll see a marked difference in the quality. In general men supply fairly low quality photographs taken without too much thought. Thankfully Russian women understand only too well the value of good photographs ( often receiving more than 10 times the amount of replies than profiles without photographs ), and will often arrange a photoshoot with a professional photographer to produce a set of pictures to use during her dating period. In this regard women tend to take their online dating much more seriously.
The general advice given throughout the dating community is to reply first to profiles with good photographs and make the first priority in your search – “profiles with photos only”.
Dating online requires a little thought for the best results, maximise the interest in your profile !
Sending interests, winks and favourites etc…
Most dating websites offer some facility to send another member an expression of your interest, call it a “hi, I love your profile” card if you wish. These can be very useful as an icebreaker, if someone is not sure about writing to you, or if perhaps, you don’t quite fit the criteria of the “what I’m looking for” in the other members profile but you’d like to tell them that you’d be interested, they are not a replacement for an introductory letter and you’d be well advised to use them sparingly as their message is only very simple.
The way NOT to use this facility is to send 500 “interests” and see who writes back, this is not a serious way to find a partner, and will only generally get attention from scammers and the like.
The favourites facility can be a useful tool in your search for a dating partner, especially if it is possible for your favourites to see that you have added them as a favourite, a handy potential icebreaker. Remember to keep your favourites list current and regularly delete profiles that are no longer an option.
Do not be tempted to abuse or overuse the “favourites” or “interest” facilities. If you’ve sent an expression of interest, wait a few weeks before sending another. Rarely would it be acceptable to continue sending these methods of initial contact more than twice, if nobody replies, it generally means that they’re not interested – move on.
Why shouldn’t I write in capital letters ?
There is nothing more infuriating than reading or writing profiles or letters written in capital letters… to the reader this is the internet equivalent of shouting and is generally considered to unpleasant, uneducated and unwelcome.
There is no place on internet dating websites for this style of writing.
About the Author
When I met my wife on the internet 7 years go I didn’t follow the usual path of bringing her to my European country, I wanted to understand her background, her views and lifestyle…I moved to Siberia and still live here. The experiences need to be seen to be believed but you can read about them at www.rurev.com
If you want to understand your partner, understand Russia, start by looking at some real photographs and then read all about Russia at www.rurev.com
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